Successfully co-parenting after a relationship has broken down requires co-operation, no matter how upset you may still be with your ex. After all, you’ll share the role of parents for a lifetime. Here are some tips to think about that will help along the way.
- Treat your child’s other parent as you would like to be treated yourself.
- If you can, keep your feelings about your ex separate from your parenting decisions.
- Consult the other parent on all major decisions or changes to your child’s life.
- Communicate directly. Don’t communicate with the other parent through your child, even on small issues and even when they are older.
- Emails and texting can be useful but be careful things don’t get misinterpreted.
- Freely share information about your child with each other.
- Don’t treat your kids like spies and question them about the other parent.
- Respect your ex’s parenting. Meal times, bed times and ‘house rules’ might be different to yours, but don’t interfere (unless the child is at risk of harm).
- Use positive or neutral comments when talking about your child’s other parent. If possible encourage family and friends do the same.
- If you have concerns or questions about what goes on at the other parent’s home, ask your ex directly.
- If children have a problem with the other parent, encourage them to talk to the other parent about it, rather than complain to you.
- Ensure that your child has what they need at each home, and avoid expecting them to take on the task of deciding what needs moving back and forth between homes.
- Stick to financial arrangements and let the other parent know about any issues that will affect them.
- Be flexible with your ex about schedule changes.
- Keep contact information up to date (know each other’s address, telephone, work number etc.)
