Easy separation? Well, we don’t pretend to suggest that the ending of your relationship is going to be “easy”. Whether you are in a de facto relationship or married, separation and divorce are hard. However, there are key steps you can take to make the separation process run more smoothly. Here are our tips for making your not so easy separation as simple as possible.
1. Get the ball rolling for an easy separation.
Once you and your partner have decided to separate, there are a number of immediate steps to take.
- Email yourself your date of separation. You’ll ultimately need this to prove your separation. An email has an electronic date stamp.
- Ensure your ongoing privacy: open a new post office box for yourself and redirect your mail; have a separate email account, and change passwords for any electronic account your ex may have formerly accessed with your consent.
- If you will be moving out of the shared home, organise yourself so you can take your personal belongings (including medications and personal documents and records, and any other household items you want to keep).
- Make copies of any social media or messaging app content (screenshots) that are important to your separation and email them to your new account.
- Store important documents (for example, birth and marriage certificates, passports) somewhere safe.
- Make a copy of every financial record you have access to and email them to you new account.
- Ensure you have immediate access to funds. This may mean opening a new bank account or applying for a separate credit card, and transferring some funds across from your existing funds.
- Speak to Centrelink about what payments you may be entitled to.
2. Agree on what you can to help with an easy separation
Try to agree on practical matters with your ex, even if just for the short term. Decide immediate practical issues such as: who is going to stay in the house, and where will the other person live? Do you need to sever a joint tenancy on the property? If you’re going to remain “separated under the one roof”, how will this work practically? If you have kids, where will they live, how will you divide time, and how will they be financially supported?
Agree how will you tell any children, and other family and friends, about the separation?
Financial and property issues will need to be worked out, and the more you can discuss and agree on, the more likely it is that you’ll have an easy separation. So try to reach agreement on matters like: who will pay bills, rent/mortgage, debts? What should you do with joint bank accounts? What should happen with the house, car, furniture, other assets? Think about how to fairly divide your assets and liabilities.
And if you can’t agree on such things, can you at least agree on how you will agree things? That is, coming to an agreement on the best avenue you should both take moving forward, to avoid a protracted, costly court process and make the best of the situation for each of you?
3. Understand the process
Get a good grip on your rights, entitlements and obligations. Learn about the different ways to separate. For example, you can reach a separation agreement by yourself (a do-it-yourself agreement), engage a family lawyer to help you reach a legal settlement, or take advantage of your Alternative Dispute Resolution options. Work out which separation process is right for you. This will depend on many factors, such as how amicable things are between you, the degree of financial trust/honesty, whether you have joint finances and their complexity.
4. Prepare yourself for the financial side of it
- Sort and gather all your personal and financial documents. You’ll need these when working out your property settlement.
- Do a financial stocktake to get a solid understanding of your financial situation: create a detailed list of your pool of assets and liabilities (your home, car, furniture, super, investments etc, as well as joint debts).
- Use the Moneysmart.gov.au net worth calculator.
- Obtain valuations on houses and superannuation accounts.
- Assess both yours and your ex’s financial and non-financial contributions to the relationship.
- Assess both the current and future needs of you and your spouse, primary care of your children, any medical or other relevant issues, and earning capacity.
5. Act fast to separate your money
Once you’ve gathered all your shared financial documents, start separating your money. This may also help to avoid any extra debt. Open a bank account in your name only and have your pay or Centrelink benefits paid into this account. Think about closing joint accounts or credit cards, and updating bills and insurance policies.
6. Speak to trustworthy professionals to help with an easy separation
A family lawyer will help you with the entire separation process and, importantly, help you to avoid court. You’ll get accurate information on your rights and responsibilities, options and potential outcomes, and you will be prevented from making costly mistakes in your negotiations. If possible, your lawyer will assist you to amicably resolve matters between you and your ex. Alternatively, you may be able to get free legal advice through applying to Legal Aid or your local community legal service.
Depending on how complex your financial situation is, you may also need to consider obtaining advice from a financial advisor, accountant or tax expert.
And don’t forget to prioritise your mental health and wellbeing. This is a time when you are typically very vulnerable, and have complicated issues to work through. It is a good idea to avail yourself of the services of a psychologist or counsellor – see your GP for a mental health plan to access free services.
Want to talk about next steps for an easy separation?
Do you need legal help with your divorce or separation, property settlement or parenting agreement? Please contact Canberra family lawyer Cristina Huesch or one of our other experienced solicitors here at Alliance Family Law on (02) 6223 2400.
Please note our blogs are not legal advice. For information on how to obtain the correct legal advice, please contact Alliance Family Law.
